is all fair in love and war?

Kind of a cheesy/cliché concept, but it’s something that has been on my mind a lot because I’ve been reading about behaviour in war and love is always on my mind because I’m silly like that!

I’ve also been re-examing my own sense of morality A LOT.  I was raised with a great sense of altruism and I took for granted that others were of the same moral integrity.  Of course, I have learned that most people really don’t care about morality–I’m not sure if this is due to the group of people whom I know well, and I hesitate to use sweeping generalizations to characterize people but for the sake of my point, they are all generally well-educated, intellectual types who are not prone to belief in the divine and who have read enough ethical theory to have developed strong viewpoints on the issue.  I’m not saying they are all immoral, that is far from the case, however I have yet to find someone who has an inner sense of “doing the right thing” as strong as my own–and I’ve kind of grown to resent it, if that was not already clear.

There’s just as much literature arguing for amorality as there is all the different conceptions of morality and why they are important…

I’m not saying I will ever be able to abandon my strong sense of the collective good (or my guilt for my volitions that oppose it!) but ESPECIALLY in terms of relationships, I feel like my need to be concerned for others is becoming detrimental to my own self-interest.

Almost all of my friends have done things in their romantic lives that I find completely unacceptable, but do the ends justify the means?

The reason why I ask all of this is because Mason called me today to ask if I wanted to hang out Saturday night.  There are two reasons why this is inhabiting my mental space–one is that Mr. Martini called me (a call which I ignored because he is making me feel stressed out and pressured) and left a voicemail saying he “wants to come see me this weekend.”  Barf.  That sounds bitchy–in all truth, I’d love to see him, I love spending time with him, and think he’s incredibly fabulous.  However, that is the very problem, because the fact remains that we are not together and that we’re not going to be together and I wish he’d stop acting in a manner that seems to be ignorant of these facts.  So moral question one, do I ditch him…do I lie to him…do I not call back…?  I’d REALLY like to go to dinner with Mason.  Unfortunately, I generally try not to make a habit of going on pseudo-dates with guys who have girlfriends–I have for quite some time been struggling with my attraction to him and the fact that I don’t even think it is okay to flirt with a guy who is taken.

Which brings me back to my main point…is all fair in love and war?  I feel in some respects that everyone else seems to think it is and I’m getting “left behind” by being so concerned with acting morally…

or am I just trying to rationalise the fact that I want to jump Mason’s bones?  Badly.

I think I have to ponder this a little more, perhaps it will come to me in my dreams–sending out vibes to Freud to expose my subconscious feelings on this !


xx Charlee


Filed under chronicles, men, personal, ruminations

4 responses to “is all fair in love and war?

  1. You look to morality as a guide, but there is no single guide that is correct 100% of the time. So that’s why there’s so much debate. And it doesn’t matter anyway because you’re still left wondering what to do.

    Morals are just ideas in our head and stuff people write about. Here in the real world people have heart attacks and someone changing their radio station in their car could accidentally cause a fatal multiple collision. Morals aren’t going to save any of that suffering. Maybe a better way of phrasing the quote is “nothing is fair in love and war”.

    So do whatever you want with Mason and accept the consequences. You could still jump his bones in a fair and moral way by waiting for the current relationship to expire. Or you could bang him quickly when the moment is right. Immorality is fun.

  2. Charlee

    I agree–I have also always been of the persuasion that morality is entirely subjective.

    I don’t think morality itself saves any suffering, but I am pretty certain that ignoring my impulses regarding Mason will save his girlfriend some suffering…

    That said, I’m not even sure what his intentions are, so maybe I’m just freaking out a little too much. (It wouldn’t be the first time!)

    Immorality is indeed fun and sexy though.

    Fucking up your karma…not so fun!

    Haha, I still need to think about it more, but I appreciate your insight! Thanks! :-)

  3. Jefficho

    I feel your pain, I find everyone to be quite the bastard.

  4. Charlee

    Exactly. I find everyone to be quite the bastard.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s