Kind of a cheesy/cliché concept, but it’s something that has been on my mind a lot because I’ve been reading about behaviour in war and love is always on my mind because I’m silly like that!
I’ve also been re-examing my own sense of morality A LOT. I was raised with a great sense of altruism and I took for granted that others were of the same moral integrity. Of course, I have learned that most people really don’t care about morality–I’m not sure if this is due to the group of people whom I know well, and I hesitate to use sweeping generalizations to characterize people but for the sake of my point, they are all generally well-educated, intellectual types who are not prone to belief in the divine and who have read enough ethical theory to have developed strong viewpoints on the issue. I’m not saying they are all immoral, that is far from the case, however I have yet to find someone who has an inner sense of “doing the right thing” as strong as my own–and I’ve kind of grown to resent it, if that was not already clear.
There’s just as much literature arguing for amorality as there is all the different conceptions of morality and why they are important…
I’m not saying I will ever be able to abandon my strong sense of the collective good (or my guilt for my volitions that oppose it!) but ESPECIALLY in terms of relationships, I feel like my need to be concerned for others is becoming detrimental to my own self-interest.
Almost all of my friends have done things in their romantic lives that I find completely unacceptable, but do the ends justify the means?
The reason why I ask all of this is because Mason called me today to ask if I wanted to hang out Saturday night. There are two reasons why this is inhabiting my mental space–one is that Mr. Martini called me (a call which I ignored because he is making me feel stressed out and pressured) and left a voicemail saying he “wants to come see me this weekend.” Barf. That sounds bitchy–in all truth, I’d love to see him, I love spending time with him, and think he’s incredibly fabulous. However, that is the very problem, because the fact remains that we are not together and that we’re not going to be together and I wish he’d stop acting in a manner that seems to be ignorant of these facts. So moral question one, do I ditch him…do I lie to him…do I not call back…? I’d REALLY like to go to dinner with Mason. Unfortunately, I generally try not to make a habit of going on pseudo-dates with guys who have girlfriends–I have for quite some time been struggling with my attraction to him and the fact that I don’t even think it is okay to flirt with a guy who is taken.
Which brings me back to my main point…is all fair in love and war? I feel in some respects that everyone else seems to think it is and I’m getting “left behind” by being so concerned with acting morally…
or am I just trying to rationalise the fact that I want to jump Mason’s bones? Badly.
I think I have to ponder this a little more, perhaps it will come to me in my dreams–sending out vibes to Freud to expose my subconscious feelings on this !