starbucks and insomnia (and maybe a little irony)

The many connections between coffee and insomnia do not evade me.

I’m a crazy insomniac yet I continue to consume caffeine.  I have cut down a lot, but when you’re used to drinking quadruple shot lattés, a double shot of espresso really doesn’t do it for you.  However, despite my perception of my immunity to caffeine, I am not in fact physiologically immune, causing me to spend many nights staying up way too late when I must rise way too early.  It’s a bummer.

Anyway, I wanted to write about my hatred for Starbucks.  There is actually a really funny quotation about ‘hating on’ Starbucks from one of my favourite articles ever, on holy taco, and it is describing “the guy who hates Starbucks but goes there every day”:

Armed with armchair political rants, this guy is the world’s biggest bore and the world’s biggest hypocrite combined into one big uber-shithead. He won’t shut up about how Starbucks is bad for the environment and how they’re taking over the world and how their coffee totally “doesn’t taste like the gourmet stuff downtown.” But when you bring up the fact that he’s ranting about Starbucks while he’s actually inside a Starbucks, his crappy hippie-wannabe excuses just start piling up. “Well, here’s the thing, I just didn’t have time to make it over to my usual coffee place. You know the one way over on 2nd Ave? Yeah, it’s one of the last mom and pop coffee shops in the area. I toooootally love that place. It’s so real. I was on my way over there, but the traffic was a killer, so I was totally forced to get my fix at this place. I mean, the rich get richer, right? That’s the law of the land. I totally can’t stand that I have to come here, but that’s what they do. They tie your hands, man. These big corporations. They just own you. They’re everywhere. Can you hand me one of those Splenda?”

Hilarious, no?

But, seriously…Starbucks is the worst place ever.  Not only are they trying to put businesses like my place of employment out of business, but their product is seriously inferior.  Their espresso isn’t even properly packed people!  This results in espresso that isn’t even true espresso in the strict definition of the amazingness that is espresso, and the crema is pitiful to say the least.

I’m just sayin’.

Of course we all must go to Starbucks at times.  I am guilty of this, as in college my building was located next to a Starbucks and due to the fact that I was always rolling out of bed (late), I had to have my coffee, and I had to have it in a timely manner (which meant not walking the extra block to get my caffeine without having to sell my soul.)

Anyway, it’s kind of ironic because apparently Starbucks has built their brand on the quality of their coffee and I think it’s quite funny that people seriously think Starbucks coffee is good.  Give me a break.

Oh well…if nothing else, I suppose the success of their company is a lesson in smart business tactics.

But still, as the sign in my place of work reads, “Friends don’t let friends drink Starbucks.

x C


Filed under random, ruminations

6 responses to “starbucks and insomnia (and maybe a little irony)

  1. i to have cofee inspired sleep deprivation yet cannot stop embracing the caffeine!
    must be a blogger thing

  2. I can’t stop drinking coffee as well! I used to be a big starbucks guy because I didn’t know where else to go. After searching around for some other places I found that many of these so called “mom and pop” places were not only better, but vastly cheaper. Every time I go into a Starbucks now I just feel like I’m paying $6 for a poorly made coffee! The worst!

  3. What is it about good espresso that I’m not tasting? Until I can taste that, I have no problem with Starbucks. And their employees are treated fairly and even part time shifts get health benefits.

    I have been drinking long enough to notice that bitter sour old coffee taste. It is like coffee that brewed too long or too hot or sat out all day.

    Since you’re the expert on this blog, what does good espresso taste like and where can I get it?

  4. Charlee

    newman–yes, it is terrible, is it not? I went easy on the espresso today, but did consume a red bull (primarily due to the fact that I only got three hours of sleep last night.) What is wrong with us?!

    Gary–Coffee is amazing; I’m so pleased that others share in the deep love I have for it! I think we’ve all fallen victim to not knowing where to go, but I’m glad you have also learned how evil Starbucks is–and yes, totally overpriced indeed! I also checked out your page–I commend your musical taste! I must admit a bias though because your playlist looked as though it could have come from my own musical library. :)

    Will–I actually am going to write a blog post about good espresso, just for you! Hah and as for where to purchase it, I don’t know where you reside or I’d recommend my own establishment (or perhaps not, I am not into courting stalkers…). That said, because Starbucks has their brand to fall back on, I would say it is probably true most of the time that independently owned local coffee shops have a better product to offer than Starbucks locations. Check out the ones in your area!

  5. I just realized that parking and anywhere-proximity are the real reasons I go to Starbucks. If I lived close to Spiderhouse or Epoch I’d probably be going there. I’m a slave to convenience and location is the priority for me. Starbucks espresso tastes good to me anyhow.

  6. Charlee

    Fair enough :-)

    As I said in the weblog, convenience was also my primary reason for succumbing to the temptation of fast, easy, and decent coffee.

    C’est la vie!

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