Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, I feel as though I am cursed! The recent turn of events in my life has me questioning the possibility of someone performing black magic upon me; I am legitimately half-way serious about this suspicion.
One recent curse is my newfound semi-ambitious attitude, which prompted me to take a job instructing undergraduates–why is this a curse you ask? Well, I suppose the true curse is my laziness, because I took the job so late that the subjects I would have enjoyed teaching were not available and I am now stuck reciting calculus. Unfortunately, my dim-witted arse was unable to make the necessary neurological connections to come to the conclusion that I’m not especially qualified for this position because I have not done calculus in quite some time–therefore, the lack of calculus combined with my cannabis-damaged memory has really been cramping my style this week.
So now I have tons of studying to do, as I can hardly even remember how to take the derivative of something. That’s actually not a joke. Sad, right? (I know there are some math geeks out there!)
Not to mention I made the poor choice of going out tonight instead of getting work done, I have to work tomorrow, and perhaps most foreboding–I must rise at 8 am. Clearly this is the result of witchcraft.
Also, to update you on my misadventures: I texted Mr. Martini to say I wasn’t sure what I wanted from him. Straightforward and honest is always the way to go, right? Wrong. He sent me a text that said: “Well let me know when you figure it out.” Psh!! Perhaps he didn’t intend for that to come off with an air of attitude, but it did, and I’m bothered by it because Mr. Martini is usually very chill, unlike the excessively moody men I’ve had the misfortune of spending time with in the past–and I am not into it. At all.
Things have been weird with BC as well, and I feel as though I might be in a bit over my head. We’ve been spending quite a bit of time together and talking a lot–which is cool, because he’s a friend and I know he’s going through a hard time, and I did sort of miss him. But, the other aspect of the equation is that we’re sleeping together and that means lots of sleepovers and snuggling and couple-y things, which I’m not altogether comfortable with. One of my friends told me my “radar of commitment-phobia” is unnecessarily going off, and I think he was right–I have no reason to be getting stressed out over this because we’re just hanging out and having fun (even if that entails breaking the booty call code). Right? Right.
This is simply further evidence of the dark-sided stuff going on in my life! (major love to you if you know what that phrase is a reference to)
Furthermore, insomnia has continued to be an intense issue for me. Needless to say, this is very unhealthy and worrisome! And also further evidence of my thesis.
Curses! I am cursed.