Weird shit people have said to me recently.

“It’s not that you’re a bitch…you’re just…overly nonchalant.”

Well, you sure seem to enjoy drinking quite a bit!” (weird attempt at conversing by Marley’s unlikely lover, whom I hardly know and did not wish to talk to)

“You were such a weird child…and then I signed you up to become a cheerleader, because I thought that would make you more normal…(awkward trail off)” — Mother

“You were purposely trying to use words she doesn’t know!” –My brother, in reference to his wife not knowing the word “optimal”

“If you suck, you suck.” (note: this was not meant hypothetically, but said rather cheerfully)

…and people wonder why I tend to make rude facial expressions so often! It’s also hard to properly capture the absurdity of these statements without the applicable tone of voice/being able to see the person saying them, but yeah, what a whack attack, right?

How the fuck do you even reply to these comments?  People are ridiculous.

x C


Filed under random, whack attacks, whatever

12 responses to “verbatim

  1. blondie

    I laughed so hard reading your blog. Wow, some people just don’t know when to keep their mouth shut, huh? I wonder if they are related to me. LOL
    I especially love the one from your mother, too funny. If it makes you feel any better I get crap like that all the time. I just shake my head and laugh it off.

  2. I really want to steal that overly nonchalant line.

  3. FINALLY. Someone who gets the same dumbass comments that I do…and people wonder why I am such a bitch. Ummm, because they are such dumbasses!

    Great post!

  4. Jen

    Love the “overly NonChalant” Too funny! Great Post! OH, and have a drink for me!!

  5. “I was shooting for regular non-chalant”
    “Meh, it’s really more of a hobby”
    “That’s okay Mom, I know you’re heart was in the right place” (still your mom)
    “How the f#$% am I supposed to know what words she doesn’t know” (I mean really)
    “Well, I have to defer to your expertise on this matter”

    Got anymore?

  6. I hate when people politely imply I’m a drunk too.

  7. people are ridiculous.

    I like this entry, I should do one on my blog… though, it would just be the display and use of bad grammar and poor vocabulary to attempt to communicate.

    “Before, you, too fat. But now (*two thumbs up*) good.” (I guess I lost weight? I didn’t notice.)

  8. J

    Overly nonchalant.
    I like that image.

    I’d like a boss who was overly nonchalant.

  9. WOW. Thats all I have to say. WOW.

    Great post and I totally understand


  10. Sebastian

    Was the ‘suck’ one possibly delivered by a deliciously dumb blonde-haired Valley girl? Mmm.

  11. Charlee

    People are indeed ridiculous!

    And Seb, the ‘suck one’ was actually delivered by a big nerdy scientist, who was telling me I suck at my job, evidently–you’d be shocked at how inarticulate many of those dudes are!

  12. the last one is my favorite – it’s so succinct.

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