Welp, I’m single. I am pretty sad about it, but alas, the Death Panel ruled a while ago that this relationship was not worth the expenditures!
That is kinda untrue though because I really miss and love Lover. (What I mean by that is that if you’re reading this, please call me. Now. :))
But, uh, yeah, I tend to get a little crazy after breakups. I’m trying to figure out how long I have to behave in a generally absurd manner before I’m being Legitimately Crazy as opposed to Post-Breakup Crazy. I was thinking a week or two? I may need to reevaluate toward the end of this timeframe.
And just when I think my psychiatrist needs to up the dosage, I recall the fact that many people get a bit wonky after breakups. That is, my inappropriate behaviour, though certainly borderline insane, does not compare to the whack attack hijinks that have gone on in my friends’ relationships.
One friend of mine told me a tale of a drunken night when he phoned his ex-girlfriend TWENTY THREE TIMES, only to have her answer and say, ‘Do you realise that you just called me twenty-three times?’ Like, what?
One of my close girlfriends has a very dysfunctional on-again, off-again relationship with a man whom I’m 88% sure is gay. Not only is she blind to this, but she seems to think others are as well. By this I mean that she has been known to engage in behaviour that I would call STALKING ‘just to make sure he’s telling the truth.’ Um, he’s not going to cheat on you… unless it’s with a fucking MAN.
In general, I think I get over ex-lovas rather quickly – which I at least partially attribute to my excessively over-the-top behavior after the breakup. I feel like once you’ve gotten way too intoxicated, showed up at your ex’s place, and um, barfed, it’s kind of hard to pine for them. Hypothetically, of course.