Category Archives: sex

a little lovin’ with your tea? (yup, I kiss and write)

Yes–I’m getting right down to business with that title, because today I had some really amazing sex my friends.

As I previously discussed, I was unsure about writing about my sexcapades (n. pl., sexual escapades) on here, but you won’t judge me, will you, dearest weblog reader?  (Still hoping my mother isn’t reading this because lord knows she would judge the shit out of me.)

Anyway, the part of the city where I am teaching happens to be very close to my former booty call’s place of work.  I hadn’t seen him in probably around a year (since we were both seeing other people) and I decided to give him a call to see if he wanted to meet for lunch and catch up.  And catch up, we did.

It turns out that the girlfriend didn’t work out and he is single again.  Well, after lunch he invited me to his office for tea, claiming that he wanted a distraction from a stressful deal.  As usually tends to happen with him and I, one thing led to another, and we got busy, and it was amazing.

I hate to say this, as the notion really pains me because it goes against my idealistic view of the world, but I have yet to find someone I click with sexually the way I do with him…our sex is so good.  So. Good.  The reason it pains me though is that other than sexually, we are not on the same page–hell, we’re not even in the same book.

I also cannot believe I had sex with him in his office!  Just call me Slutty McSlutslut.

However it worked out amazingly well for me because a) I needed to have sex very badly (it had been a very long time), and b) I am not going to get busy with Mr. Martini (for several reasons).

I finally feel like I can think clearly again without having sex on the brain all the time!  I probably would not have done it had I not been in such dire need.

To people who question whether or not booty call relationships can remain purely sexual, I am here to tell you that it is quite easy if you aren’t all that crazy about the person.  Booty Call is a good guy and a dear friend, but not someone I’d ever date (which is something I learned very shortly into our relationship).

Although he is a PERFECT booty call because in addition to his major skills in the lady-pleasing department, he has a CAR-AZY HOT body.  Literally.  Just looking at him makes me want to rip his clothes off.  Ironically though, this is also a reason why I could not date him, because although I value health and clearly deeply enjoy his body, I also know how much time he spends at the gym and not only would I be annoyed to date someone who would do that, but I’d also have to question whether or not they were excessively shallow/vain (which he clearly is).

I do love his bod though.

It’s kind of funny because I didn’t really intend to have things unfold the way that they did, I actually just wanted to grab lunch, but I get the sneaking suspicion that he took it as a mid-day booty call; which is weird because our lunch was very friendly and he actually opened up to me a lot more than he has traditionally (homeboy is having some lady trouble) and after we got down he said he “wished we could cuddle” because “he’s missed me” and “hoped we could start hanging out again.”  Evidently, his ex-girlfriend really burned him.

Of course, I was pleased at the prospect of having a booty call again–for the record, I call him Booty Call because he’s the only booty call I have ever had (despite evidence to the contrary, I am not a floozy), and he has been my BC for several years.  And I love him for it. And for the things he does to me. :-)

That said I’m not sure I’m into the casual sex thing anymore–it was fun when I was in college, and certainly convenient, but it seemed appropriate then, and though I love sex it seems a bit immature, and yes, promiscuous, at this stage of my life to have a purely sexual relationship.

We shall see!

Goodnight!

xx Charlee

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elation, nonsense, and hooray for martin luther king junior :) (and obama)

Okay–first and foremost, I would just like to say I am ABSOLUTELY ELATED that this long-awaited day, January 19th, 2009 is finally here.  I think I’ve been looking forward to this date for 8 years!!! Bush is FINALLY peacing out!  I’m actually not much of a Bush-hater, but he obviously has struggled throughout the course of his term and to be frank, the very constitutionality of his term is not clear in my mind.

So I’m not going to talk politics but I cannot remember the last time I was this happy about the state of affairs in this country!

Anyway I am terribly sorry I have not written in the past few days,  particularly because they have been quite eventful!

Friday I went to a work party, where Sam and her boyfriend got into a fight.  I’m a fan of Sam’s boyfriend because he’s quite chill–not as swift as I might like but he’s cool enough.  Anyway, for some reason he and I began talking about politics–something I try quite hard to avoid in most situations, but the one exception to this rule for me is if I think someone is open to learning something that I am able to help them grasp…which was the case here, so I discarded my usual policy.  Of course, Sam is kind of crazy (and rather dim) so she kept making belligerant comments and trying to change the subject although her boyfriend (Callum) was listening rather intently.  So eventually he told her to take it easy or something like that, and she completely overreacted and stormed off…a few minutes later, Mason came to tell me that Sam was crying outside and angry with me.  Greatttt.  I went outside to see what was up, and long story short, she was being drunk and irrational…so it’s all good now.

So then Saturday I worked with Mason, and he said Marley (roomie) and I were “making everyone cry” to which I obviously asked him to elaborate, and he said that I had upset Sam and Marley had upset Chad.  To be perfectly honest I hadn’t been keeping too abreast of Marley and Chad’s situation so I didn’t have much to say on the subject, but later after discussing it with roomie, it turned out that she had decided she didn’t really fancy him after all–pretty standard for Marley, but that’s part of her charm…in my opinion anyway!  But apparently not those whom she loses affection for so quickly…

That night, Mr. Martini and I had a very relaxed night watching a documentary entitled “Resolved” about high school debating.  He and I always do the most random things together!  It was something we just saw and thought looked interesting so we viewed it, and it turned out there was a lot of racial context that one wouldn’t generally expect given the subject matter of the film–there was a team that challenged the way high school debating works in this country by saying it is exclusive and more or less racially discriminative.  I’m not sure how much I want to go into this concept because I’m a bit short on time, but given the date and current events and all, I will say that several of  the people I love most in the world, my best friends (and one of my former roommates) are black and I have spent a fair amount of time working in public schools where 99% of the faculty and students were African-American, so I feel that I have an understanding, or as much of one as any white person can have, of the challenges that they face and it is an issue closer to my heart than it is to most (white) peoples’.  That said, in this film, the team was not arguing the resolution they were given, but was instead arguing that the entire framework/institution of high school debating were racist; the documentary obviously did not show their entire argument, but something about it really didn’t sit well with me.  Last time I checked, the better way to get your point across would be to argue the resolution, and win, thereby instituting the so-called change they were working towards (assuming that their allegations of racism were indeed founded).  Not to mention–a lot of people, and probably me before I became familiar with the black community, believe that we live in a post-racial society.  So to “pull the race card” and completely skirt the issue that is meant to be debated is really illogical and uncalled for in my opinion–and furthermore, sets our society (and the black community) back several years.

I think in many ways that is what is so inspiring about Obama, and Martin Luther King Jr. before him.  Martin Luther King Junior did not play the victim, he was aggressive in his campaign for change, but in a way that was poised and so incredibly admirable–I don’t think there are many people, and certainly not myself, who could maintain such a calm and articulate manner in the face of an issue so inflammatory and passion-stirring as racism. Obama, on the other hand, took this to an entirely new level.  Politics aside, I don’t think I have ever been so inspired by someone as I am by Obama–and throughout the election, I was always the one telling friends and family that he was creepily subliminal and psychological in his speeches and that he came across as such an inspiring figure because of the tactics he used.  However, when he won, I was so incredibly emotional and elated that it became a night I will never forget.  He really is evidence that race is no longer an issue in this country–and though it has never been an issue in my eyes, I can say that I have experienced racial tension/discrimination first hand; but even so, to know that most of the country does indeed subscribe to the “post-racial” concept is so incredibly beautiful and amazing to me that it is one of the few things that truly leaves me speechless.

Obama affected change not by going over the history of the country or by listing his grievances–and to be perfectly honest, I think he would have been completely justified in doing either–but instead, he portrayed the world and the country as many of use see it and hope it actually is–and in so doing, taught us all a thing or two about the power of belief and coming together with others who share our beliefs.  Obama was not part of the political machine, he was (and is) part of the people.  He showed us that we can live in a country we’re proud of, that we can say “no” to the things we don’t accept or believe in, and that, more than anything, “yes, we can.”  His entire campaign was built upon the concept of change, but in so many ways, Obama himself is the change.  Or to quote him, the “change we can believe in.”

No matter what your political beliefs, we could all learn a lot from this man.

ANYWAY that got a bit lengthy, but I’m in a bit of a daze of Obama inaugural excitement, and to be sure, I’m not a Democrat, so I’m hardly one of the sheep I so despised throughout the campaign.  However, my emotions have really gotten the best of me today because I’ve been thinking about what tomorrow means to all of us, and how the world really is changing; and of what it will mean to so many of the young people I have worked with who have expressed feelings to me that I cannot imagine feeling and that I know will be replaced with a new worldview because of Barack Obama–America is indeed the land of opportunity, and anyone can do anything.  It isn’t all just lines of bullshit as so many of us may have suspected.

Viewing the film Saturday night, by the way, was accompanied by consumption of copious amounts of wine, and by the end, Mr. Martini and I were getting a little more lovey-dovey than we probably should have.  I blame the wine.  Alas, I spent the night in his bed, but we were not intimate–truthfully, I kind of wanted to be because I adore him and am physically in need of some loving, but I have an inner “flooz-o-meter” (n. the inner meter of the degree to which one is acting like a floozy) that prevented us from getting down.  C’est la vie.

I’m truly a bit frightened by the intensity of my feelings for him as well as the intensity of his future planning involving me, though.

Anyway this has taken much longer than I had hoped–I must get ready as we are having a dinner party tonight to celebrate Bush’s last night in office.  Hooray hooray hooray!

Hope everyone else takes a moment to give thanks this evening as well–whether or not you’re an Obama fan, so many lives lost is reason enough to be thankful that by this time tomorrow night, there will be a new sheriff in town. ;-)

xx Charlee

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let’s talk about sex baby…

Anyone remember that song?  “Salt ‘n’ Peppa”, I believe.

So I am now home and solved the dinner dilemma–since I couldn’t decide and don’t really feel like going to the store, I checked my fridge and have some goat cheese, asiago, parmiagano reggiano(sp?), monterey jack, and brie.  I’m thinking I’m going to use a LITTLE bit of the reggiano, and disclude any soy sauce to bring down the saltiness.  Hopefully it will turn out okay!!

Anyway, sex has been on my mind all day my friends.  In two capacities–one being the act of sex because Mr. Martini has come back into my life and turns me on more than any man has in the recent past, and two, the concept of sex (as in gender) because I read a very sexist and offensive weblog on here yesterday.  So I would like to vent a little bit about both topics.  Blog, if you will. :)

On sex–I thought about whether or not it was cool to write about it for the whole world to potentially see, as I am quite a lady in the sense that I adhere to general etiquette rather strictly (sometimes to my detriment ie. causing me to be called “snobby” or “prissy”) and it is obviously somewhat inappropriate in our society to discuss sex openly.  That said, I was recently discussing Tony Blair’s wife with a friend and how the British people have not taken kindly to her being so open in her sexuality, and I couldn’t help but think that if this were a MAN, it would not be looked upon the same way.  So, although I shall still adhere to my mother’s wishes of being the epitome of a lady in my public life, I’m going to allow myself to vent about sex on here because I can’t think of any reason why the hell not. (And I’m going to pray my mother or friends never stumble upon this weblog!)

The stigma of speaking openly about making love in our society is especially bothersome to me because it’s something I very much love, both poetically and literally.  That is, I am a very sexual person and enjoy it immensely, but in addition to that, I have a genuine intellectual interest in sex as a biological phenomenon as well as the psychological/sociological aspects of sex.

Intellectuality aside, though, I LOVE sex; I think that is actually a primary reason for my academic interest in it.  Sadly, though, as I have touched upon before, I am not into the idea of monogamy right now–it just doesn’t suit my worldview, my way of life, or my feelings on relationships.  So, doing the math, what does that mean my friends?  No sex for Charlee.

Yeah, it’s a pretty serious bummer, but in some aspects I think it’s good–most of the time I think of myself as being somewhat of a Morrissey-inspired person, in the sense that I don’t see myself as celibate but to not have all relationships based in physicality is an enlightening and helpful experience in terms of self-awareness and growth.  (Btw, I LOVE Morrissey so very much–and I don’t particularly care if that’s cliché!)

It is very funny to me how my generation views sex though.  As in, I don’t think my mother could say that when she was my age, she had several friends who currently have (or who have had in the past) a regular “booty call”.  But, particularly for very driven young people (ie. my college friends), there are only so many hours in the day and I think to have a casual sexual relationship with someone is something that has evolved out of necessity for many young people.

Anyway–circumstances being what they are in that I have not gotten busy with a man in a while, Mr. Martini has been turning me on big time.  I mean, I’m incredibly turned on by him in general (as if you couldn’t tell), but him popping up out of nowhere and being his amazingly adorable self really isn’t helping my desire to avoid sexual contact with him.

The reason why this has been on my mind all day?  Last night, we had a few drinks back at the hotel after dinner, and it started to get rather late, causing him to suggest I stay.  It was really the most prudent choice and it was terribly cold and I was rather drunk, so I said that would be okay.  I stayed in a separate bedroom, but was still left wondering if something could or should have happened.

It’s just so odd because I don’t see us being together–he’s so all over the place, and I’m so right here (for now) and there is no sense in trying to commit to someone you can’t see in person on a regular basis.  That said, I really do love him and know he loves me, and isn’t that all that is supposed to matter?

I don’t know–what I DO know is that I need a break from all the Mr. Martini business, so a girlfriend and I are going to happy hour tonight and then out.  It should be a fun night!

Hope everyone else has a fabulous night also!

xx Charlee

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