Tag Archives: coffee

looney tunes!

When I started this blog, it was principally to share the things I find amusing in my barista life!  I haven’t really been a barista very much lately due to travel etc. but I did get to work this week, so I wanted to share with you some of the crazies that were on the creep that day.  (If you couldn’t tell, weird/crazy people=my main source of amusement in life.)

There are a number of regulars whom we all know and talk about/become amused by.  Moreover, the environment of the coffeeshop where I work is very informal and has a bar where we, the employees, usually kick it; this also causes certain customers to post up at the bar with us (usually for hours) and hang out.  Sometimes this is cool, as I totally dig many of our customers.  Some of them, however, bother me in a variety of ways, from being plainly annoying to being a bit frightening.  Also,  I did not change their names for the purpose of this weblog, this is how my coworkers and I refer to each of these people–I don’t feel the need to change their names since their behaviour I am discussing is done in public and in view/earshot of many strangers.  Sue me.  (But, actually, please don’t.)

One of our regulars is ‘Wet Cappuccino Charles‘.  I’m not sure how to describe him really except to say that he quite possibly possesses the greatest degree of social ineptitude I have ever seen, and a lot of my coworkers compare him to “Dwight Shrute” from the US version of the televison programme “The Office”, whom I must say he resembles in both behaviour and appearance.  He is hilarious in the sense that he has no problem broadcasting his crazy opinions (he’s an intenselty right-wing conspiracy theorist type, and is extremely paranoid) and getting him fired up is always entertaining.

Anyway, he usually comes in several times per week and stays for hours because he is not employed–in fact, he is constantly inquiring as to whether we have any ‘temp work’ available.  He is honestly like a caricature!  Unfortunately he also frightens me a bit because he asked for my email address shortly after I made his acquaintance (and before I grasped the depth of his craziness), and I have a folder labeled just for him on my gmail account…in other words, he sends me about 10 emails each day.  Fun! Also, slightly alarming. :)

One of our new regulars is the ‘Klonopin Queen‘.  There are a number of people whom I suspect of being pill-poppers due to their dazed and confused facial expression and inability to converse at a normal rate, but homegirl takes the cake.  Not only is she dazed and confused all the time, but she also likes to hang out for hours, talk about how awesome klonopin has been for her (it has helped her handle her demon child) and also likes to PASS THEM OUT.  Like tic-tacs.  ‘One for you, one for you, one for you’ is what we say when one of us sees her coming.  Because that is what she does…sings along and passes out DRUGS like a deranged mother goose.

Another fun discovery upon my return to the coffee shoppe was that I have a new coworker, ‘Bipolar Bridget’. Bridget immediately revealed to me her psychiatric history and the fact that she’s no longer medicated (this much was obvious)–she then proceeded to do all sorts of cracked out shit, such as singing Disney songs at the top of her lungs (in the middle of a coffee shoppe…who does that?) and writing signs of ‘things she wanted to tell me’.  Example: she made a colorful and detailed sign that said “who are the backstabbers around here?” that was slightly violent in nature.  The crazy customers are bad enough, but now I must spend several hours with someone who is clearly under the influence of drugs OR extra, extra crazy.  Either way, she’s a looney tune.

The people I’ve met (and there are a lot more, those were just the ones that rolled up that DAY) are people I did not know existed.  I’m somewhat interested in humans/people in general, so from reading about them and you know, being alive, I thought I had a decent grasp of human behaviour–HOW WRONG I WAS.

And my mum said being a barista was a waste of time!

Anyway, back to work, have a great day blogheads! :) :) :)

xx Charlee

ps: sincerest apologies for any spelling or grammatical errors, I had to type this rather quickly because I have a deadline in a few hours!!! try not to let it upset you too much kids ;-)

Advertisements

3 Comments

Filed under chronicles, whatever

i like cartoons.

From the New York Post:

This has apparently created a huge controversy over the fact that the author of this cartoon seems to draw a comparison between Obama and a monkey, thereby referencing a particularly offensive racial slur.

Personally…it made me laugh.  I feel that it is referencing the killing of a lady’s pet chimp, and poking fun at another current event (the passing of the stimulus package) by saying that it is bad and could have been written by an animal.  Pretty standard stuff.  And quite funny, really.

Now that a controversy has developed over it, I do see how it could be construed as offensive…however, I only see that because it’s been explained to me by numerous people professing its racist undertones.

It’s all in the perspective.

If you’re looking for it to be racist, then yes, you can bend it to fit into your paradigm.  Likewise if you’re seeing it for what it is, a benign source of amusement.

For me, it comes down to the person’s intent–and I find it quite hard to believe that they had an intent to depict a racist message.  What do you think?

My opinion: chances are, it didn’t even occur to the author of the cartoon that it could be seen in such a way, and I think that speaks volumes about our society…and kind of makes me wish Al Sharpton and his outdated perspective would take a hike.  Just saying.

x C

5 Comments

Filed under random, ruminations

i am a ‘BAMF’

Hah!  Not really.

I am indeed being a rebel by playing hooky today though.  Of course this is nothing new for me, but lately I’ve been quite responsible, and this morning as I was trying to fall asleep (at 5 am), I cringed at the thought that I had to work (at the coffee shop), go to two classes, get a project done for my other job, and somehow manage to bake a treat for Mason and obviously sex myself up for the festivities tonight.  It was simply too awful for me to bear the fact that my effort was going to be a waste,  because crazy tiredness (from extreme lack of sleep), and the brain burn resulting from contributing to society all day would have prevented from enjoying myself at the party, thereby killing my buzz.  Quite literally.

So I’m being naughty, and I couldn’t be happier about it!  It reminds me of the good old days…my stoned slacker days, as I fondly call them.

I blew off EVERYTHING, and even lied about it–this is something I have never done before, because for all of my neglect of responsibility, I am nothing if not honest.  Through all of college, through all of life, I have made it a point not to make excuses for my actions, especially bogus excuses.  However, it suddenly came to me not all that long ago that part of life in our society is bs-ing.  As I believe I have said before, my main purpose in life is keeping it real, so I had some trouble accepting this.  Even when I was always getting in trouble for not doing shit and my friends were claiming their grandmothers had died, I kept my mouth shut–but therein lies the problem.  It may sound silly that I really didn’t figure this out until recently, but apparently not saying anything gives the impression that you just don’t give a fuck.  People expect you to make excuses.  I’m not even going to get into how stupid this is, but I’m happy to say that I don’t feel bad at all about lying to my bosses or prof today, because I think in the end it’s less rude than not saying anything and I’m probably doing good in terms of their egos by making them think their nonsense is important to me.

(Side note: I can seriously rationalise anything.  It kind of freaks me out.)

Well I shall continue this later as I have to go prepare the rainbow cake (hooray! I am pumped!!) and get sexed up for the soiree this evening!

Hope everyone else is having an amazing day also!! :) :)

xx Charlee

3 Comments

Filed under chronicles, random, ruminations

Food Porn! (with a very serious purpose)

So Mason, otherwise known as my coworker whom I am trying to seduce, is leaving our work place, and we’re having a going away party for him on Tuesday.  Because he is a dear friend, I would like to prepare him a special treat for his departure.  The party is a dinner party and there’s already going to be a cake, but I wanted to give him something to bring home–and also something to show off my excellent culinary skills.

Unfortunately, I am unfamiliar with Mason’s palate as he isn’t the type of guy I generally roll with (he’s more of a “typical male” type than the guys in my crowd and I don’t believe he has any “foodie” tendencies) so I don’t really know what to make him; I do think he’d prefer something simple and traditional, so I thought I’d make strawberry scones.  However, I also found this awesome-looking cake and thought he’d appreciate it.  I don’t personally enjoy cake so I was leaning towards the scones, but my (male) friend told me he’d enjoy the cake far more.

So that is where you come in, dear readers.  Yes, I’m sadly indecisive…but I could seriously use some help here because I don’t think my perspective or that of my friends is very helpful here and I want to make him something he’ll like!  So, please vote on which treat you’d prefer!

The choices are:

Rainbow Cake

I would like it to come out looking like this, but I have a feeling it will end up being more similiar to the following photo:

Which is still a really rad-looking cake!

OR

Strawberry Scones

Not AS exciting to look at, but certainly delicious!!

So I hope you enjoyed this gustatory pornography as much as I did…and please vote in my incredibly important poll!

x C


2 Comments

Filed under food

true story, airport style

Yo friends!

I am presently in one of my least favourite places in the Universe, the airport.  Generally, I am crazy late for domestic flights, and board the plane AFTER boarding has ended and they’ve removed the tunnel, via a scolding flight attendant escort.  To be honest, I’m a little bummed out that I will miss out on the terribly fun stares of my fellow passengers today, but alas, roomie is more responsible than I and has therefore forced my bum to migrate to the airport ridiculously early.

SO here I am, all drugged up with nowhere to go.

Yes it is true my friends, I don’t think I have any other anxiety so strong as that which flying causes within me.  I’m a relatively frequent flier, yet my discomfort with the notion has never quite subsided.  There have been several times when I have actually decided (t minus 30 minutes before takeoff) not to board a plane, leaving me stranded.  After this happened a few times, my doctor decided it would be prudent to drug me during travel.  Hence, I give you “Charlee under the influence of far too many milligrams of benzodiazepine”.

Anyway, as so often happens when I am forced to deal with airports/planes, I have been annoyed by the actions of various people.  Ohkay, SURE, I know I have probably annoyed my fair share of people today also…but that is irrelevant to the fact that the same things bother me every time I travel.  So, I bring you my “rules” for the procedures associated with changes in geographical location:

Number One: Wear Something Comfortable But Not Yucky

This is a very important one my friends.  I am the first to admit that I generally wear things whilst flying that I would never wear in my general life–that is, I dress solely to be comfortable, and therefore look like a crackhead most of the time.

Well, I have a sad tale to explain this life lesson that I had to learn the hard way: I was flying to Pittsburgh last minute to see family, so I didn’t have much time to pack/get my act together and therefore looked like a really unsightly version of myself.  Due to a snowstorm, my flight got canceled and the next one included a detour to DC…well, I got stuck in DC my friends.  I had the option of waiting out the storm/getting a hotel, but I have friends in DC so I figured I’d spend a day or two with them rather than dealing with the masses of angry stranded travelers.  However, this meant I did not have my luggage and I looked like a COMPLETE street rat.  Luckily, my dear friend allowed me to change into some less offensive clothing of hers, but I still had to deal with the trip from Dulles to the city looking like a fool–not to mention showing up to meet my friend and her friends looking as though I’d just rolled out of bed (literally–I was practically wearing pajamas).

So, learn from my mistake friends, even if all you do whilst flying is sleep, it is not wise to dress as though all you plan to do is sleep!

Number Two: Take A Chill Pill (literally or figuratively)

This one actually applies in all situations.  I would like everyone in the world to take a chill pill.

Well, that is a bit untrue as some people I encounter are sufficiently chill, but unfortunately, there seems to be an absence of the chill factor in airports.  To be fair, I realise that airports are an unpleasant place to spend time.  Oh, how I realise this.  I just wish we could all do our part to make it a bit less unpleasant by calming the eff down a little bit.  Just a little bit.

Number Three: Use your brain

Again, I suppose this one could be applied to life also.  However, this is the number one thing that bothers me in airports.

I’m not a mean or unfriendly person, and I know chilling in airports is a bummer, so I am always down to converse with those around me.  I draw the line, however, when someone feels the need to not only carry on a conversation with me for an excessive period of time, even though I’ve made it clear that I am not interested in hearing the details of their sister’s cousin’s wife’s daughter’s bat mitzvah, but also does not properly understand my motives when I state that I need to get a cup of coffee.  No, I don’t want you to join.  I’m trying to get away from you.

Then there are the children.  Oh, the children.  I’m actually a gigantic fan of kids–I’m only half-kidding when I say one of my goals in life is to “save the children” and I’ve done a lot of volunteering with kids and was even a nanny for about a month.  So I’m down with the youngins.  However, I am not down with their parents.  Children should not be running amok through airports–frolicking, playing…fine–but screaming?  This is not okay, and the parents who think it is are clearly not aware of the fact that unpleasant noises are something many of us strive to avoid in life, and the last thing we want is their ignorance forcing this upon us.  When I have children I will obviously be slipping them a few chill pills whilst traveling.

Although it is also possible that I am a bit bitter that I can no longer be the one running around and having fun and that I’m expected to sit here, bored out of my mind, for an extended period of time.

Okay I think that is about it for my rant of the day…please keep my sage advice in mind next time you find yourself traveling, and if you should find yourself sitting next to me on a plane, please be aware of the fact that I am dazed and confused and not exactly down to discuss the purpose of your business trip!  I will appreciate this very, very much!

hugs and kisses, Charlee

6 Comments

Filed under personal, random, ruminations

cool sounds

Okay, I know a lot of people enjoy judging people by their musical taste, but I believe that is dumb, and therefore I am well aware of the fact that most of this music has been around for a while, but contrary to popular belief, music being over a year old or well-circulated does not mean it sucks.  So, here are a few songs that are presently helping me get through several hours of tedious mathematical calculations! Enjoy!!

MGMT–I wasn’t super into them the first time around, but ever since New Year’s Eve (when we listened to them pretty much all night and I had a blast) I can’t really stop listening to them.  Their sound is somewhat techno-y, but still has a solid lyrical base and lots of electronica type stuff going on.  I’m into it.  It’s good for inducing a bit more engagement when hanging out in a group, and it really puts me in a generally good mood.  Here is their song “Electric Feel” (which I’ve been listening to since last Spring and am STILL not sick of!):

Kings of Leon–I was at first kind of disgusted by the lack of originality in this band, and they’re definitely not one of my favourites, however, I must say that if you have not heard their song “Sex on Fire”, you must download it now.  Their sound is very “Southern Rock” and one might say slightly overproduced (or excessively overproduce, haha), but nonetheless, I think some of their music is genuinely aurally pleasing and not as annoying as most music in this genre.  “Sex on Fire” is one of the sexiest songs I’ve heard in a while and who could dislike a song with a chorus that goes “YEAHHHH! Your sex is on FIREEEEEEE!”.  Haha well we all have our guilty pleasure music, no?  Or maybe I just need to get laid.  (Is this not the fundamental paradox in life?  That the more sex one has, the more sex one wants?)  Here is “Sex on Fire”:

Of Montreal–All right, I know they are so not in any way new or exciting, but they do have a new album out, so I thought I’d give them a shout out in case anyone had not yet checked them out.  Of Montreal was my favourite band for several years, and hanging out with BC so much has made me start listening to them again out of pure nostalgia for the days when he and I would spend the afternoons listening to them and chain smoking and getting busy.  Good times.  Anyway, if you’re not familiar with them, their sound is pretty unique and really upbeat…it always puts me in a good mood, and has influences from lots of different musical genres.  To me it is reminiscent of Europop in the sense that it’s lyrical pop with a more techno sound than most American Pop, but it also has a flair that is very unique to Of Montreal.  Their sound has evolved a lot from their earlier stuff, but they can really do no wrong in my eyes.  Here is one of my favourite songs of theirs (video is kind of weird but I was having trouble finding the proper one):

Well I there are more I would like to share, however, my calculations are calling and this has taken longer than I anticipated!  So I shall continue at a later date!

Good day! :)

xx Charlee

3 Comments

Filed under music

what are (gay) best friends for?

First off, I would like to step up on to my soap box once again and inject unnecessary political undertones into this post by saying that I am STILL flabbergasted that Proposition 8 passed and to be perfectly honest, very angry.  When I heard it had passed, I spent several days trying to find someone to fly to California with me to protest.  I was unable to do this (apparently some people have lives which they cannot abandon at random), however, I am passionately against this HATEFUL legislation and I think it is utterly sickening that it passed on the same day that Obama was elected–the old “two steps forward, one step back” strikes again.

On the subject of Prop 8, here is a very funny video which has been quite circulated by now, but hey, if you have not seen it, it is worth the few minutes in terms of amusement (in my opinion anyway):

Prop 8: The Musical

Anyway, needless to say, I love me some gay men.  I mean I’m down with all the gays, but two of my best friends happen to be gay men, so I’m partial to their genre of gay people.  Of course, I know some gay dudes that are not at all stereotypically “gay” and whom I didn’t know were gay until they came out to me, but with my two very close friends, this is not the case as they are quite the flamers.  This is part of the reason I love them so dearly–they are incredibly informed of fashion and there’s nothing I love more than a man that appreciates the genius of Tom Ford.

One of my best friends in the world, J, was out of the country for the past month or so to celebrate the holidays and I missed him like crazy.  J was my neighbor freshman year in college and I couldn’t have survived without him!  He has truly influenced the person I am today and he’s like family to me–so it is for this reason, and our extra close bond, that he told me at lunch today that I need to get back to my days of detoxes and spinning classes.  Yes, though I can always count on him to be brutally honest about my appearance, my sweet J put his honesty into that delicate little package.

I think I needed to hear the harsh truth though–I’m a borderline health nut, but I have in the past few months, and especially during the holidays, really been taking it easy.  Living life like it’s going out of style, if you will.

Therefore, I’m meeting with my nutritionist tomorrow and starting a week-long detox to get all of the yucky stuff out of my temple…the only sad part is that this means I cannot drink.  Which is very sad, because I love to drink. :(  And I might actually try breaking a sweat whilst working out instead of happily jogging along for a measly 30 minutes!

In other news, I have to say I feel a bit daft after my last posting–I have absolutely no right to complain about anything, ever…I’m so incredibly blessed that I actually often feel guilty for having such a nice life and therefore feel somewhat guilty for complaining about a bunch of meaningless BS!  Alas, meaningless BS is still BS though and therefore not altogether pleasant.  That said, I’m going to work on looking on the bright side more!!

But (!) I must whine for a moment and say that the job is still really difficult.  I am cursing the fact that I took it–I was perfectly happy giving my brain an extended vacation!  The problem in my life tends to be that my work ethic does not equal my ambition and this has bit me in the ass yet again.  Bottom line, I need to put my nose to the mirror (joke) and put some hours in with the books, which is way more difficult of a task for me to accomplish than it should be.

I’ve been (mostly) shutting BC down because I’m over it and uncomfortable about the whole thing, i.e. the fact that I let my lust for him overwhelm my sense of propriety.

And this weekend I’m going skiing!  Hooray!!!

Just have to get through this week first…

xx Charlee

Leave a comment

Filed under personal