Tag Archives: committment

best marketing strategy ever

I’m not a fan of reality tv.

I did watch the first Bachelorette and quite enjoyed it, but I believe that was primarily due to the fact that I was about 13.  Actually–that isn’t true–I’d probably watch a ton of shit tv if it weren’t for the fact that I have severe ADHD that prevents me from boob tubing it for more than about 30 minutes.  But the point is, this post is about The Bachelor.  (Accordingly, I apologize in advance if I don’t have my facts straight!)

I cannot imagine my outrage if I’d actually watched the show, but holy media saturation, batman!  I’m pretty sure that I’ve heard about what happened about 30 times within the past few days.

So, if you did not hear or are unfamiliar with the idea behind the show, the shortened version is that homeboy (‘The Bachelor’) lives out many a male fantasy with a harem of women who are grossly smitten by him from day one.  He dates them, they cry, he gives them roses and kicks them to the curb, they cry some more and declare homeboy The One.  One of these lucky women (barf) gets chosen by ‘The Bachelor’ and he proposes.

Well, this time, they did not walk hand in hand off set only to break up 8 months later.  This time, they broke up a month later.

But that isn’t all my friends.  No, that is NOT all.  Homeboy declared that he was just not that into the girl he’d PROPOSED to only a few weeks earlier, and decided that the lady he sent packing was indeed the one he should have chosen.

Disregarding the obvious stupidity of the entire ordeal, I have to say that there is no way that could be legit–as in, not manufactured by the producers of the program.  Who in the hell cared about the Bachelor a few weeks ago?  (Okay, I suppose there is a group of single 20-something women splitting their time between drooling over engagement rings and thinking about this program.)  But now, it has been getting so much attention…mostly because of the sheer ridiculousness of it, but even so, there’s no such thing as bad publicity my friends.

The dude from the show claims he simply had a “change of heart” or whatever.  I have a few things to say about this.  Number one: not only is he 32, but he has a child.  What kind of person is he that he plans to marry a woman and then ditches her for another?  I don’t really believe he would be so irresponsible with such a serious choice, especially given the fact that he is rather old and is making choices not only for himself, but for his son.  I would like to make another point–and I would like to thank People Magazine for assisting me with this:

WHAT IN THE HELL IS HE WEARING????

No, really.  REALLY.  How could 30 women be into a guy who dresses like a Fall Out Boy reject turned Abercrombie model??

I mean okay, he probably didn’t choose his own clothing on the show?  I pray this is the case and some overzealous costume designer (who is obviously oh-so-talented, to land such an enviable position!) misperceived the fact that he is not cool enough or–okay I’ll say it–young enough to pull that shit off.  He seriously looks like a fool.

I just had to let that out.

Anyway, I give hella props to the people behind this stunt because not unlike most people (since I don’t think the show is too highly rated), it takes a lot for me to think about The Bachelor and I’ve not only thought about it, but become interested in it, and even written a weblog about it.  And that, my friends, is the magic of marketing!

x C

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curses!

Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, I feel as though I am cursed!  The recent turn of events in my life has me questioning the possibility of someone performing black magic upon me; I am legitimately half-way serious about this suspicion.

One recent curse is my newfound semi-ambitious attitude, which prompted me to take a job instructing undergraduates–why is this a curse you ask?  Well, I suppose the true curse is my laziness, because I took the job so late that the subjects I would have enjoyed teaching were not available and I am now stuck reciting calculus.  Unfortunately, my dim-witted arse was unable to make the necessary neurological connections to come to the conclusion that I’m not especially qualified for this position because I have not done calculus in quite some time–therefore, the lack of calculus combined with my cannabis-damaged memory has really been cramping my style this week.

So now I have tons of studying to do, as I can hardly even remember how to take the derivative of something.  That’s actually not a joke.  Sad, right? (I know there are some math geeks out there!)

Not to mention I made the poor choice of going out tonight instead of getting work done, I have to work tomorrow, and perhaps most foreboding–I must rise at 8 am.  Clearly this is the result of witchcraft.

Also, to update you on my misadventures: I texted Mr. Martini to say I wasn’t sure what I wanted from him.  Straightforward and honest is always the way to go, right?  Wrong.  He sent me a text that said: “Well let me know when you figure it out.”  Psh!! Perhaps he didn’t intend for that to come off with an air of attitude, but it did, and I’m bothered by it because Mr. Martini is usually very chill, unlike the excessively moody men I’ve had the misfortune of spending time with in the past–and I am not into it.  At all.

Things have been weird with BC as well, and I feel as though I might be in a bit over my head.  We’ve been spending quite a bit of time together and talking a lot–which is cool, because he’s a friend and I know he’s going through a hard time, and I did sort of miss him.  But, the other aspect of the equation is that we’re sleeping together and that means lots of sleepovers and snuggling and couple-y things, which I’m not altogether comfortable with.  One of my friends told me my “radar of commitment-phobia” is unnecessarily going off, and I think he was right–I have no reason to be getting stressed out over this because we’re just hanging out and having fun (even if that entails breaking the booty call code).  Right?  Right.

This is simply further evidence of the dark-sided stuff going on in my life!  (major love to you if you know what that phrase is a reference to)

Furthermore, insomnia has continued to be an intense issue for me.  Needless to say, this is very unhealthy and worrisome!  And also further evidence of my thesis.

Curses!  I am cursed.

xx Charlee

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sexual tension, espresso, and infidelity over cappucinos

Yo.  I have returned.

So today I worked with Mason (rawr) and it was, as usual, intense in a good way–mainly because there is a lot of sexual tension between us, if I do say so myself.  Sadly, I feel that nothing will ever come of it because I find him so terribly attractive that when we are together, most of my energy goes towards toning down my inappropriate urges and I’m therefore incapable of generating witty comments or seductive glances.  Which is quite a bummer, to say the least.

Anyway, it was a relatively uneventful day, aside from the appearance and lack of disappearance for several hours (!) of Mason’s girlfriend.  I’m not the type of person to hate on other chicks (for reason of my devotion to girl power et al), however, home girl is kind of lame.  Enough said. Of course she is stunningly beautiful, but even so, after two hours of her life-suckingly boring comments, that did not do too much to console my sense of annoyance.  Does that make me a bitch?

FYI, my opinion of her is also due to comments Mason has made about her–and therefore is not entirely motivated by jealousy. Not that I’m lacking in the self-awareness department enough to not realize that if she were just some random girl I’d be indifferent to her uncoolness (noun., the state of being uncool); however, she is not just some random girl, she is the girl having a love affair with someone whom I would promptly like to engage in a passionate affair with.  Call me jealous.

I’m not into writing too much about my love affairs, but it suffices to say that there is nothing exciting going on in my love life, and I really need something exciting in terms of romance.  Also, I don’t want to wax too philosophical here, but I suppose any mention of the men in my life requires a little bit of background on my attitude toward them.  In a nutshell, I feel that at this point in my life, the purpose of romantic relationships is to explore and learn–hence, I’m not necessarily a fan of the traditional relationship path that seems to be so common in our society.

More on that later…

But yes–call me a commitment-phobe or a ‘neo-bohemian’–but I think it’s entirely illogical and unfortunate to commit oneself to only one person prematurely.

Of course, everyone says that when the ‘right one’ comes along, I shall change my view.  I don’t really see that happening though.  Hm.

Ironically, in keeping with the idea of commitment, today at work one of the “affair couples” came in.  Now, I suppose most of you out there have not worked in a coffee shop, but we generally get to know customers pretty well…and I cannot believe the number of people out there who use coffee shops to carry out their indiscretions!

I also wonder whether or not they realize that we ALL know they are having AFFAIRS.  I don’t see how they could not realize that we know–so I am left to think they do not care.  That said, one time at the ballet I ran into a customer who is always meeting different women at the shop, however, this time he was with his wife–I’ve never seen someone pull a “duck and run” in such a hardcore manner.  He stopped coming in after that.

If anyone reads this who happens to be a coffee shop cheater, please know that we all know you’re violating your marital vows, and also please stop creepily touching under the tables/between the chairs.  It’s unsettling.
I never thought there were so many philanderers out there until I became a barista.  Seriously.

It’s funny how people are quick to judge my reluctance to adhere to traditional relationship norms yet fail to appreciate our society’s blurred concept of monogamy.

Sorry this got to be a little “deeper” than I might have wanted–I’m going to leave out the reasoning for that.  I’ll let you, my phantom reader, guess.

That’s all for now–I have to get my plans straight for the evening, I believe more drooling is in order as I may be meeting up with Mason for a drink.  Hopefully I will be able to carry on a respectable conversation!

xx Charlee

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