Tag Archives: morality

big ups to my rodent friends

Today has been a very tragic day for me.

Basically, I grew up with five brothers.  It was pretty chill, except when I wanted to talk about flowers and princesses.  Enter my need for other friends.  So, after watching a number of Disney films, I decided that if I was nice enough to animals, they’d start speaking to me and become my friends…

sadly I am still working on this lifelong quest!  Apparently creatures are quite shy!

Sometimes my deep and enduring love for animals causes problems.

Like when I spent much of my free time during college collecting mouse traps around my dormitory and befriending the ‘pests’ – my friends quite enjoyed retelling these tales.  Once they got over their anger.


I was at work when suddenly my coworker started screeching as though she’d taken a ninja star to the external jugular.  Accordingly, I ignored her.  Thus, she got up in my grill and explained that she’d seen a mouse and was pretty much grossly overreacting.  That said, I’m not going to lie, I am freakishly afraid of bugs, to the point where I actually moved house after seeing one because I became terrified of the place.  So yeah, I’ve got some crazy related to little unwanted houseguests (a term I coined/copyrighted in France because I didn’t know the word for mouse!  Terribly cleva, I know!) so I felt her pain.

However, I think mice are adorable and awesome little friends – but homegirl disagreed and wanted to get a mouse trap.  SO I offered to go, because I wanted to at the very least find a trap that would keep my new little buddy safe until we were reunited!

This is where things get really sad, so please be prepared with Kleenex…

when I got to the store, things took a very evil turn.  THERE WERE NO ‘HAVE A HEART’ TRAPS.  At this point, I felt I had a moral obligation to my coworker who was probably freaking out like a madwoman in my absence, and I knew going to another retail location would be unfair to her and her unnecessary anxiety.


Believe me friends, this gave me no joy, and I feel very guilty for this harsh backstabbing of my little mousey friend.

I really feel I had no choice but I would like to request that all who read this purchase the NON-HOMICIDAL traps if you find yourself dealing with some little animals in the future, AS A PERSONAL FAVOUR, SO THE COSMIC BALANCE OF THE UNIVERSE CAN BE RESTORED.

Thanks and have a great day!

x C

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is all fair in love and war?

Kind of a cheesy/cliché concept, but it’s something that has been on my mind a lot because I’ve been reading about behaviour in war and love is always on my mind because I’m silly like that!

I’ve also been re-examing my own sense of morality A LOT.  I was raised with a great sense of altruism and I took for granted that others were of the same moral integrity.  Of course, I have learned that most people really don’t care about morality–I’m not sure if this is due to the group of people whom I know well, and I hesitate to use sweeping generalizations to characterize people but for the sake of my point, they are all generally well-educated, intellectual types who are not prone to belief in the divine and who have read enough ethical theory to have developed strong viewpoints on the issue.  I’m not saying they are all immoral, that is far from the case, however I have yet to find someone who has an inner sense of “doing the right thing” as strong as my own–and I’ve kind of grown to resent it, if that was not already clear.

There’s just as much literature arguing for amorality as there is all the different conceptions of morality and why they are important…

I’m not saying I will ever be able to abandon my strong sense of the collective good (or my guilt for my volitions that oppose it!) but ESPECIALLY in terms of relationships, I feel like my need to be concerned for others is becoming detrimental to my own self-interest.

Almost all of my friends have done things in their romantic lives that I find completely unacceptable, but do the ends justify the means?

The reason why I ask all of this is because Mason called me today to ask if I wanted to hang out Saturday night.  There are two reasons why this is inhabiting my mental space–one is that Mr. Martini called me (a call which I ignored because he is making me feel stressed out and pressured) and left a voicemail saying he “wants to come see me this weekend.”  Barf.  That sounds bitchy–in all truth, I’d love to see him, I love spending time with him, and think he’s incredibly fabulous.  However, that is the very problem, because the fact remains that we are not together and that we’re not going to be together and I wish he’d stop acting in a manner that seems to be ignorant of these facts.  So moral question one, do I ditch him…do I lie to him…do I not call back…?  I’d REALLY like to go to dinner with Mason.  Unfortunately, I generally try not to make a habit of going on pseudo-dates with guys who have girlfriends–I have for quite some time been struggling with my attraction to him and the fact that I don’t even think it is okay to flirt with a guy who is taken.

Which brings me back to my main point…is all fair in love and war?  I feel in some respects that everyone else seems to think it is and I’m getting “left behind” by being so concerned with acting morally…

or am I just trying to rationalise the fact that I want to jump Mason’s bones?  Badly.

I think I have to ponder this a little more, perhaps it will come to me in my dreams–sending out vibes to Freud to expose my subconscious feelings on this !


xx Charlee


Filed under chronicles, men, personal, ruminations

Dirty Martinis and my review of “The Reader”

Im not entirely sure if this is a shot from the film, but I *think* it is...

I'm not entirely sure if this is a shot from the film, but I *think* it is...

Yikes–I am so very tired!  This evening I went to dinner with an ex-lover, whom I shall henceforth refer to as “Mr. Martini”–due to his intense love of them (and James Bond-like demeanor) and the fact that he’s several years my senior.  We then went to a film (“The Reader”) and though I swore I’d be calling it an early night tonight, the temptation of martinis and satisfying discussion of a rather intense film were too much for me.

Needless to say, I have a ton of ideas buzzing in my mind right now, which I will fully update you on tomorrow, but I wanted to give a quick review of the film since it’s fresh on my mind still (or at least relatively fresh–says the girl with major short-term memory loss).

Firstly, I must say that Kate Winslet gave a brilliant performance–quelle surprise.  As I told Mr. Martini, I have never seen her fail to deliver a great performance.  She slips into rolls so seamlessly it’s almost disconcerting.

The other performances were pretty amazing too, so a general A plus on the acting skills of those cast.

For those who do not know, this film is somewhat of a historical drama, which delves into the aftermath of WWII from an alternative perspective, both ideologically and literally–as the film is set in Germany.  I found this very refreshing (a characteristic that pretty much dominates my preference for certain films).

Of course, this is all told within the framework of a passionate love affair, which is not altogether appropriate.  This really “hit home” for Mr. Martini and I, as when we met our relationship was somewhat improper…not in a completely immoral way or anything though (I’ll explain tomorrow.)

In my opinion, the love affair is essential to the fact that the film succeeds in exploring the guilt of the Germans, and the anger/pain of the Jews targeted by the Nazis without losing any of the humanity in the characters–something that is no doubt difficult when the subject matter is Germans during the Holocaust.  So often, in film, when the horrific nature of what went on in Nazi Germany is the focus of the story, those upon whom it was inflicted are the ones that are focused upon–in this, we get to see the horrors of being on the other side as well.  The film succeeds in not making any proclamations of sympathy for the guilty party, but rather draws the audience to certain conclusions about morality and its objectivity (or lack thereof) through the emotional subtext of the love affair between the characters.

The thing that struck me most about the film, throughout the entire story, was the great humanity with which the characters were depicted–I could feel their pain, their uncertainty, their fear and their regret.  Though the setting of the story is not easily relatable, the characters and their stories are beautiful in their portrayal of the experience of living and the struggles it can bring.

I suppose I can’t say much more without giving it away, but I highly recommend seeing this film–if only for the steamy love scenes. :)

Other random things I loved–the literature (some of my favourites), the examination of literacy (a pet project/issue of mine), and the overall poignancy of several moments within the film (most films lack even one truly poignant moment.)

My one complaint, though, is that there was some discontinuity in terms of setting/time period–I am definitely not a details-oriented person, so the fact that I noticed this means it was quite flagrant.  That said, I don’t imagine the film had a particularly roomy budget, so set dressing probably wasn’t at the top of their priority list.

All in all, I really enjoyed the film, although seeing it with Mr. Martini made me wonder if the Universe was playing a joke on me tonight–you see, the concept of morality (an overarching motif of the film) is something we have frequently discussed, and the relationship in the film paralleled ours in more ways than one.  Neither of us really knew anything about the film and it was completely serendipitous that we even went to the cinema this evening–and the way things played out really makes me wonder if there is such a thing as fate.  Anyone want to comment on this notion?  Because I’m not sure if I’m onto something or I had too many dirty martinis…thinking it could be the latter.

Must sleep this off!

x C

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