Tag Archives: women

He’s Just Not That Into You!

Ok I know this film came out a long time ago.

However, the fact that I have ADD, and, like, a life, means that I rarely get to see films, much less romantic comedies.  That said, I meant to see this film FOREVER, because it is one of my favourite books and probably the reason why all of my girl friends’ boyfriends hated me in college.  Whateva.

Anywho. The film was supa funny and is now one of my favourite films because it was hilariously awkward…in fact, it was even TOO AWKWARD at times.  Remember that I have a high awkwardness threshold friends, so when I say it was intense, I mean this bitch was whack.

Anyway, because I LOVE this book and because apparently some bitches is whack, I am devoting this posting to all my crazy bitches out there.

And in case you were wondering, my love of this book stems from the fact that I dated a guy who was just not that into me for about three years. I know, how tragic.

Well this is why I now like to run my mouth about keeping men in line, because sadly I failed to get the point that homeboy was not into me for way too long, and I know I’m not the only one who has done this.

About the book: it is set up according to excuses.  It is outlined by the excuses guys make because making excuses is easier than saying “I’m just not that into you.” As they put it in the book: He is a man made up entirely of your excuses.  And the minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely disappear from your life.

Unfortunately, I do not know where my copy of this book is, I may have given it away or it may be in storage, so I obtained some excerpts and interpreted them accordingly.  You’re welcome.

The “He Is Super Busy Right Now” Excuse

Don’t let the “honeys” and the “babys” fool you.  His sweet nothings are exactly that.  They are much easier to say than “I’m just not that into you.”  Remember, actions speak louder than, “There’s no cell reception where I am right now.”

Calling when you say you’re going to call is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust.  If he can’t lay this one stupid brick down, you ain’t never gonna have a house, baby.  And it’s cold outside.

The “But He Just Needs Some Time” Excuse

Cut your losses and don’t waste your time .  Why stay in some weird dating limbo when you can move on to what will surely be better territory? Don’t want to hear it?  Fine.  Here’s the answer you’re looking for, “Hang in there, baby.  He’s not the loser everybody’s telling you he is.  If you wait and keep your mouth shut and call at exactly the right time and anticipate his moods and have no expectations about communication or your own sexual needs, you can have him!”  But please don’t be surprised if he dumps you or continues to drag you through a completely unsatisfying relationship.

The “He Is Just Shy” Excuse

Men, for the most part, like to pursue women.  We (men) like not knowing if we can catch you.  We feel rewarded when we do.

The “He Is Worried About Damaging The Friendship” Excuse

He will always be able to play the “friend” card on you.  He only  has to be responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than the the far greater expectations of a boyfriend.  He’s got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not see whenever he wants to.  He may be one of your closest friends, but I’m sorry to say … as a boyfriend, he’s just not that into you.

Beware of the word “friend”.  It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior.  Personally, when I’m picking friends, I like the ones who don’t make me cry myself to sleep.

The “He Wants To Take It Slow” Excuse

I don’t want to be “sort of dating” someone.  I don’t want to be “kinda hanging out” with someone.  I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved.  I want to be involved.  I want to be sleeping with someone I know I’ll see again because they’ve already demonstarted to me that they’re trustworthy and honorable — and into me.

Alright I think my place in Heaven has now been reserved.  Please think about these wise words from Liz and Greg the next time your lova starts acting up, and if you are into praying or that sort of thing, I’d appreciate you putting in a good word for me because I have been sinning a lot lately and I am a little concerned.

x C

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true confessions & revolutionary road review (kind of)

I have a confession to make my friends: I have no clue how I got into the world of academia (if you can call it that–hint: you can’t).

No. Fucking. Clue.  I’m not very well-suited to intellectualism in terms of personality (or intellectuality, for that matter) and I don’t think I ever consciously decided I wanted to end up where I am today.  The point is…I at some point came to the conclusion (okay, I’m pretty sure I was watching a film by some sort of overly-clichéd director, and was most likely baked out of my skull) that I should have gone to film school.  It was never something I even remotely considered, but I think it would have been pretty fucking sweet.

ANYWAY, because of this latent desire, I sometimes feel the need to write my opinions on films I have seen.  So, enjoy the exorcism of my half-baked scheme.

I recently saw the film Revolutionary Road and really enjoyed it, as I knew I would, because Kate Winslet + Leonardo Dicaprio = two of the greatest actors of our time, in my humble opinion.

Something that was quite striking to me was the intimacy of the filmmaking.  I recalled after the film that Kate Winslet’s husband (Sam Mendes) directed the film, to which the unique presentation can probably be attributed.  There was something vaguely marked about way the story of this couple was told, and I had trouble conceptualizing precisely what it was, but I really think the best way to describe it is that it was particularly intimate–every facet of their marriage, their emotions, and the complex interplay between the two, came across on the screen.  It really seems fitting and explanatory that there existed this incredibly close relationship between the person behind the camera and the person in front of it (as much of the film revolved around Kate’s character).

Aside from the philosophical takeaway I got from the film, I enjoyed it stylistically–the music/costumes/set design were magnificent and made the story far more engaging.  The acting was absolutely superb, not only in the lead roles, but there were a number of supporting characters (namely, Leo’s work buddies, their overzealous garden-obsessed neighbor, and her institutionalized son) that I felt added a lot to the film and whom I thought about afterward.  Some of the dialogue was a bit much for me (some of the lines actually made me laugh, during dramatic scenes) but that is a complaint I have fairly often.

The ‘story’ was basically of these two people and their perceptions, interactions, and methods of coping with a life that had not been meticulously constructed to suit them.  They questioned whether or not this was the life they’d imagined (any Thoreau fans out there?) and what–if anything–they could change in their collective life to increase their satisfaction with it.  To be more precise, the fundamental concept that underlied their conundrum (in my view) was whether their circumstances needed to be altered, or if it was simply their perception that needed changing.

I often wonder this in my own life–particularly because I tend to do things that I think I am expected to do.  A perfect example would be my choice to get a relatively serious job, when I was perfectly happy chilling and being  a barista–I felt lazy and lame about that choice, but the truth is, I took time off from my studies so that I could have time to myself and not have to worry about the world’s idea of what I should want.

Ergo, this film really resonated with me.  I think many of us ‘go with the flow’ only to one day look at our lives and wonder who told us that we had to want all of this…whether it’s the two kids and the picket fence in suburbia (as in the film) or a career in academia or medicine or some other pretty serious field (as in my life!)–as I think she said in the film, at some point, we just keep doing what we’ve been doing to prove to ourselves that it hasn’t all been a mistake.

Interestingly, the person who most identified with this notion in the film was the one who had been deemed insane.   Kate’s character’s plans for “fixing” her life were portrayed as unrealistic, and yet the ‘crazy person’ in the film thought they were entirely necessary–this is very interesting to me and quite relevant, I think, in the overall conversation about what happiness is, and the role of desires and practicality within that conception.

I really enjoyed the film.  It really spoke to the numbing nature of certain aspects of life and did a really wonderful job of examining different perspectives of life in suburbia, and life in general.

I’m not sure I’d view it again (although I very rarely view films twice due to my attention deficit) but it was very thought-provoking for me and I’m quite pleased that I finally got around to seeing it! Definitely worth seeing, blogga-buddies. :)

xx Charlee

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on societal standards of beauty, etc. etc.

It being fashion week and all, I have been thinking about this a lot…

I did a pretty strict cleanse for about a week and ended up losing some weight (most likely–I don’t own a scale but I can usually tell anyway).  After this, my brother asked me ‘if I’d been sick’ because ‘I looked frail’.  Now, firstly, I think this is kind of an offensive thing to say–but it was, after all, my big bro, so I let it slide.  Secondly, though, upon bringing this up to roomie, she told me that I looked fine to her.  On the bright side, I feel as though this justifies the extreme gluttony I plan to engage in this weekend. :)

But these interactions caused me to consider two things: one, why do women have a different definition of an appropriate weight than men, and two, the fact that many of us are probably thinner than we would be at our “natural” or “baseline weight” (I can’t really remember what it’s called?).

Ms. Moss

Although retrospectively, I realise I grew up in an environment where thinness was emphasized, I don’t think it was something I was acutely aware of until college–perhaps partially due to the freshman 15, which I learned is no myth.  I have a perception that my uni was above average in terms of social pressure regarding appearance, due to my own perceptions as well as hearing those of friends who attended other institutions…whether or not my perception is accurate I do not know.  However, I can say that jokes that our university was filled with ‘anorexic cokeheads’ were nearly ubiquitous–both within our student body and with students from surrounding schools.

As for me, I actually like to be very thin, aesthetically speaking I find it to be the most pleasing look to me.  However, I’m also quite concerned with health, so I would not put my health at risk to suit my aesthetic preferences.  I’m not crazy about it or anything…but like I said, I like the appearance of very thin women; I have a girl crush of epic proportions on Kate Moss, as I think she’s incredibly gorgeous–and we all know girlfriend is quite thin.  The odd thing is, sometimes when I am happier with my body, I see photographs of myself and think I look awful.  Do other women feel this way?  It really is quite ironic because I really like the “heroin chic” look on other people, but when it comes to myself, I hate looking at myself and feeling that I appear as though I’ve just finished a four-day bender and am on the verge of death.  Haha, well that’s a bit dramatic, but you know what I mean, don’t you?  If not, here are a few photographic representations of my aesthetic preferences, courtesy of the fashion industry:

A shot from my favourite Chanel ad campaign (I think it was spring/summer a few years ago)

A shot from my favourite Chanel ad campaign (I think it was spring/summer a few years ago)

A Prada Advertisement

A Prada Advertisement

Kate Moss again, in a YSl ad

Kate Moss again, in an Yves Saint Laurent ad

The irony is of course that no one does “heroin chic” quite like Kate Moss, but that it should be called cocaine chic in her case, because she obviously hits the booger sugar quite often, a fact that has been relatively well-documented.

Also, I don’t really care what anyone says, I sincerely doubt that any high fashion model follows a healthy diet–perhaps they are naturally thin, yes, but to be 6 ft tall and weigh 110 pounds is probably only genetically possible for a infinitesimally small slice of the population…so I don’t buy the notion that models and the fashion industry are selling anything other than unhealthy lifestyles, despite constant proclamations to the contrary.

Perhaps this makes me a bit of a hypocrite, as I more or less fit the very definition of the word perfectly in the sense that I don’t “practice what I preach” in this arena, because I think a lot of our culture’s ideas about beauty are seriously f*cked up…but I adhere to them anyway–to a certain extent at least.  It is quite cliché to say, but I truly cringe for the young women/teenagers that are confronted with this.  I often put serious thought into ways I can positively influence my younger family members in such a way so as to counteract the extreme messages the media subliminally, and sometimes explicitly, delivers to their impressionable brains.

The other strange thing, though, is that women’s ideas on body type are much different than those of men–I can’t tell you how many studies I have read that indicate men consistently prefer a more “curvy” body type than the average women holds as her ideal.  That is just strange to me, and the context of it says a lot about the pressure on women in our society, as well as how we as women view each other, and ourselves.

It’s also incredibly odd to me that most (I think it’s more than half now, statistically) Americans are overweight and a very large percentage are obese…and we are greeted in the media with images such as these which not only fail to represent most people, but also are basically the antithesis of “most people”–I should say that I somehow doubt the statistics, because I can’t say that the majority of the people I encounter are overweight, although I think some of this could be geographical (as I tend to think overweight people dwell more in the Bible belt and associated areas), but nonetheless, one has to wonder what these things mean from a sociological standpoint.  But perhaps that is a consideration for another day!

I just had to vent my thoughts on this, as it has been on my mind today and I’m trying to avoid doing work, as usual.  I hope everyone has a fantastic Friday!! :)

xx Charlee

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Filed under fashion & beauty, random, ruminations

rampant materialism (and how to know you’re officially in your twenties)

In the midst of my online shopping frenzy today, it occurred to me that some of my purchases were things I never would have purchased two years ago, or perhaps even last year!  Even my personal style is much different than it was just a short time ago.  This reminded me of a “gosh, we’re old” anecdote:

A few weeks ago, a girlfriend made dinner for a few of our friends and I, and afterward, we were putting away the leftovers when two of my friends remarked on how fabulous a piece of my friend’s Tupperware was. This led my other friend to promptly retort that we “officially know we’re in our twenties.”

It’s true–it makes me feel a little old to be so into dinner parties, decor, and kitchen gadgets, but alas, my life can no longer center around push-up bras and hot lingerie (though they are still a pretty big part of my life, obviously).

Anyway, all the sitting around time I had to deal with today led me to fill the time in one of my most favourite ways–shopping!  Hell yes.  What recession?

This was actually very good for me, because the absence of drinking and cigarettes (I think I would literally sell my soul for one) and food (!!) in my life has left me feeling very under indulged and cranky–not to mention I have been playing shopping nazi with myself for a long time, so I went a bit crazy with the shopping, but it was entirely necessary in my self-centered, overly self-indulgent world.

Yes, it is good to be young and perhaps a bit too selfish.

(And just a little disclaimer–I am choosing not to fall victim to my perpetual problem with “spending shame” today, due to my desire to share my fabulous finds with others.  Therefore, my altruism is overriding my desire to hide my materialistic tendencies, so don’t hate! (-:  I know…I deserve an award or something for being so selfless.)

So, I shall share with you some cool finds I scored today, almost all of which were on sale (hooray!!):

Free People Cashmere Leggings

Need I say more?? I am so amped to wear these, cashmere is my favourite thing ever, ever, ever…and leggings are so comfortable!  In other words I will probably be wearing these a bit too often.

($99.95 down from $128.00 at freepeople.com)

Free People Wishbone Necklace

I thought this was way cool.  I usually wear a few necklaces and this one looks good for layering, not to mention I’m getting more into wearing mutiple kinds of metal (I’m generally not a gold girl) so I thought this was cool.  Plus, it reminds me of pulling on the wishbone at Thanksgiving as a child.  Who doesn’t miss that?!

($49.95 down from $198.00 at freepeople.com)

Anthropologie Suspended Pearl Ring

I think this is so cool.  I’m crazy about pearls and this is a funky/interesting piece that incorporates them.  I’m super into it, and it was also super on sale! Yippee!

($79.95 down from $138.00 at anthropologie.com)

Random Other Stuff From Anthro Which I Cannot Find Photos Of, But Which Are Awesome and I Encourage You To Check Out

(Alternative Heading: Evidence That I Am Old)


Spice Mill$12.95 down from $34.00

Very pretty and also quite reasonably priced!

Giraffe Measuring Spoons$19.95 down from $28.00

These are so effing cute I just could not resist!  Also, I am a pretty big baker but also quite lazy, so I usually refrain from measuring ingredients, which probably isn’t the best idea.  So, I think purchasing measuring spoons is a step in the right direction!

Vine Perfume Bottle$7.95 down from $28.00

I have such a weakness for pretty little things, and probably none more so than perfume bottles.  Anthropologie always has beautiful ones, and I just couldn’t resist this one at such a great price!

Parisian Cafe Apron$32.00

Okay. Make fun of me all you want.  I know this a really suburban move, not to mention the fact that “I’m not old enough to wear an apron” (quotation courtesy of Marley)…but I like it, and I do not like getting flour/sugar/etc. all over myself whilst baking.  So, get over it.  Or, better yet, embrace the uncool.  (This is my general modus operandi in life, fyi!)

Ice Breaker Dress–$119.95 down from $228.00

This is a great brunch dress, or perhaps a party, with the right shoe.  I think it’s really refreshing architecturally, and I like it because it’s fashionable without being overly sexy. I’m a pretty busty chick and sometimes it is difficult for me to find dresses that don’t look too sexy (i.e. show a tacky amount of cleavage) on me, but that are still stylish and not frumpalicious (adj. frumpily delicious–except not).  So this is cool without being too revealing, in my opinion.


Victoria’s Secret Vest

Victoria’s Secret Suit

I actually really like their suits.  I know my mother would gasp at this notion, and some may find the idea tacky, but I say don’t knock it until you try it. Obviously, when it comes to suits, quality is a issue and therefore Victoria’s Secret is probably not the *best* choice…that said, I feel that for my age, some of my nicer suits come on too strong.  These suits actually have a nice silhouette and with the super cheap prices, you can have them custom tailored (and have the buttons changed), which is uber-important and does a lot to increase the quality/look of the suit.  Moreover, I would highly recommend going with the color black, because the fabric quality with these suits isn’t really the best, and I think that is far more noticeable with lighter colors.  All of that said, I really like this suit (I’m very into the slouchy/extra-wide-leg look), and the vest, and am excited it was such a steal!

(Vest-$19.99 [!!] down from $59.50 @ VictoriasSecret.com)

( Blazer–$29.99 down from $178.00, and Pant–$19.99 down from $88.00 [!!]–link here)

Victoria’s Secret is not my favourite lingerie place (I’m totally a trashy lingerie girl) but I did purchase a lot of stuff on sale…because I’m that girl, the one who buys lingerie even though she has no one to wear it for.  Ha!  I need something to force me to keep going to the gym, after all.  However, I am not going to post it on here, because that would be simply indecent!  But here is a link to the lingerie they have on sale–and there’s a lot! (Hint, hint to the men out there–if you are a slacker and have not already purchased something for V-day for your lover!)

Of course I also had to hit up my ultimate weakness, aka American Apparel, but I’m not going to post the stuff because it was sadly not on sale nor exciting! However in the interest of any men out there who may be looking for a Valentine’s Day present still, I will post one of my favourite products of theirs:

They have the BEST thigh-highs ever.  Why?  Because they are socks, not stockings.  Ergo, they are crazy comfortable!!  I wear these all the time because they are super cool ways to stay warm during the winter/in dresses and they are seriously so very comfortable.  However, they also have a second purpose, which is in the bedroom as BC is quite crazy for them–whether or not they are as sexy as true thigh-highs, I do not know, but they are definitely infinitely better in my opinion, because sexy + practical is awesome. :) :) :)  They are $17.00 @ americanapparel.net.

For those not familiar with American Apparel, I am a huge fan of it because although the prices are a bit high, this is for a very good reason–their clothing is American-made and their company has very ethically rigorous policies.  Aside from the fact that I passionately support their ideals, their clothing is also very high quality, in my opinion.  I don’t want to inject any unnecessary seriousness into this delightfully frivolous posting, but it is a really wonderful company and I strongly encourage you to purchase something from them!


Alright this concludes my shopping binge/ADHD coping mechanism, and I hope someone out there enjoys some of the deals I have found today because they got me quite excited.  Just don’t tell anyone–I have a reputation to protect which does not include my materialistic tendencies!  (Hah, that is a joke.  Mostly.)

Writing this post has been a welcome distraction from the piles of work I have neglected this weekend.  :( I am very sad that I now must rouse my brain from its brief holiday!

I will update you on my super fun weekend at a later date! As if you care! Hah…(sorry still a bit loopy from my ‘medication’)

Enjoy what is left of the weekend, people!! :) :) :) :)

xx Charlee

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Filed under fashion & beauty, ps: i'm a shopaholic

curses!

Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, I feel as though I am cursed!  The recent turn of events in my life has me questioning the possibility of someone performing black magic upon me; I am legitimately half-way serious about this suspicion.

One recent curse is my newfound semi-ambitious attitude, which prompted me to take a job instructing undergraduates–why is this a curse you ask?  Well, I suppose the true curse is my laziness, because I took the job so late that the subjects I would have enjoyed teaching were not available and I am now stuck reciting calculus.  Unfortunately, my dim-witted arse was unable to make the necessary neurological connections to come to the conclusion that I’m not especially qualified for this position because I have not done calculus in quite some time–therefore, the lack of calculus combined with my cannabis-damaged memory has really been cramping my style this week.

So now I have tons of studying to do, as I can hardly even remember how to take the derivative of something.  That’s actually not a joke.  Sad, right? (I know there are some math geeks out there!)

Not to mention I made the poor choice of going out tonight instead of getting work done, I have to work tomorrow, and perhaps most foreboding–I must rise at 8 am.  Clearly this is the result of witchcraft.

Also, to update you on my misadventures: I texted Mr. Martini to say I wasn’t sure what I wanted from him.  Straightforward and honest is always the way to go, right?  Wrong.  He sent me a text that said: “Well let me know when you figure it out.”  Psh!! Perhaps he didn’t intend for that to come off with an air of attitude, but it did, and I’m bothered by it because Mr. Martini is usually very chill, unlike the excessively moody men I’ve had the misfortune of spending time with in the past–and I am not into it.  At all.

Things have been weird with BC as well, and I feel as though I might be in a bit over my head.  We’ve been spending quite a bit of time together and talking a lot–which is cool, because he’s a friend and I know he’s going through a hard time, and I did sort of miss him.  But, the other aspect of the equation is that we’re sleeping together and that means lots of sleepovers and snuggling and couple-y things, which I’m not altogether comfortable with.  One of my friends told me my “radar of commitment-phobia” is unnecessarily going off, and I think he was right–I have no reason to be getting stressed out over this because we’re just hanging out and having fun (even if that entails breaking the booty call code).  Right?  Right.

This is simply further evidence of the dark-sided stuff going on in my life!  (major love to you if you know what that phrase is a reference to)

Furthermore, insomnia has continued to be an intense issue for me.  Needless to say, this is very unhealthy and worrisome!  And also further evidence of my thesis.

Curses!  I am cursed.

xx Charlee

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I’m so vain??

Haha, an old lover used to sing that Carly Simon song to me all the time.  Alas, he was incorrect in his accusations because I am not vain.  In fact, I think I am less vain than most women out there!

Anyway I’d like to apologize for my minor freakout blog postings yesterday–I was really caught off guard by Mr. Martini sending me such a forward message, not to mention the fact that insomnia interferes with proper brain function.

However, I have still not responded to Mr. Martini because I just don’t know what to say–I feel a bit rude, but he had to know when asking me that I may not respond.

On to the present moment, in which I am struggling with my vanity.  I generally don’t fancy myself a very superficial person, but BC has been texting me today and wanting to go out tonight, and whilst pondering this possibility, I realised that I would not be pondering it if it were not for his extreme hottness.  Which is sad, I think.

In my defense, I have gone out on dates before with guys who were amazingly beautiful, but whom conversing with made me want to barf.  Hence, I did not go on second dates with them.  So I’m not entirely hopeless.

And BC is cool.  He’s an interesting and intelligent guy–it’s just that, being the self-aware chick that I am (read with sarcasm), I know if he were not so devastatingly good-looking, I wouldn’t be into him.  I guess it kind of makes sense though because I’ve already established that I’m not into his personality…

Hmph.  Sorry to burden you, dearest weblog reader, with my manly ruminations–I’m starting to feel like I’m writing chick lit.  This is not a good feeling!  However, I am going through various phases of uncertainty regarding the men in my life so to write about it is a natural thing and I think (?) somewhat helpful in fleshing out my thoughts.

Anyway I’m posting up in a coffee shop right now (not my own) because I’ve decided to take a few courses this semester and I’m waiting around this part of town until they start–I’ve always wanted to learn some extra languages in my spare time, and I realised (a) there’s no time like the present and (b) my lazy ass is probably never going to get on that unless I have a class forcing me to do so.  So I’m taking Spanish and ASL (I already speak French)–I’d like to take Arabic, but I thought perhaps that would be too ambitious with my other commitments at this time.

So what do you think?  Does giving BC the time of day simply because he’s hot make me vain?

I think it does…might have to call the ex and tell him he was right after all…

xx Charlee

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a little lovin’ with your tea? (yup, I kiss and write)

Yes–I’m getting right down to business with that title, because today I had some really amazing sex my friends.

As I previously discussed, I was unsure about writing about my sexcapades (n. pl., sexual escapades) on here, but you won’t judge me, will you, dearest weblog reader?  (Still hoping my mother isn’t reading this because lord knows she would judge the shit out of me.)

Anyway, the part of the city where I am teaching happens to be very close to my former booty call’s place of work.  I hadn’t seen him in probably around a year (since we were both seeing other people) and I decided to give him a call to see if he wanted to meet for lunch and catch up.  And catch up, we did.

It turns out that the girlfriend didn’t work out and he is single again.  Well, after lunch he invited me to his office for tea, claiming that he wanted a distraction from a stressful deal.  As usually tends to happen with him and I, one thing led to another, and we got busy, and it was amazing.

I hate to say this, as the notion really pains me because it goes against my idealistic view of the world, but I have yet to find someone I click with sexually the way I do with him…our sex is so good.  So. Good.  The reason it pains me though is that other than sexually, we are not on the same page–hell, we’re not even in the same book.

I also cannot believe I had sex with him in his office!  Just call me Slutty McSlutslut.

However it worked out amazingly well for me because a) I needed to have sex very badly (it had been a very long time), and b) I am not going to get busy with Mr. Martini (for several reasons).

I finally feel like I can think clearly again without having sex on the brain all the time!  I probably would not have done it had I not been in such dire need.

To people who question whether or not booty call relationships can remain purely sexual, I am here to tell you that it is quite easy if you aren’t all that crazy about the person.  Booty Call is a good guy and a dear friend, but not someone I’d ever date (which is something I learned very shortly into our relationship).

Although he is a PERFECT booty call because in addition to his major skills in the lady-pleasing department, he has a CAR-AZY HOT body.  Literally.  Just looking at him makes me want to rip his clothes off.  Ironically though, this is also a reason why I could not date him, because although I value health and clearly deeply enjoy his body, I also know how much time he spends at the gym and not only would I be annoyed to date someone who would do that, but I’d also have to question whether or not they were excessively shallow/vain (which he clearly is).

I do love his bod though.

It’s kind of funny because I didn’t really intend to have things unfold the way that they did, I actually just wanted to grab lunch, but I get the sneaking suspicion that he took it as a mid-day booty call; which is weird because our lunch was very friendly and he actually opened up to me a lot more than he has traditionally (homeboy is having some lady trouble) and after we got down he said he “wished we could cuddle” because “he’s missed me” and “hoped we could start hanging out again.”  Evidently, his ex-girlfriend really burned him.

Of course, I was pleased at the prospect of having a booty call again–for the record, I call him Booty Call because he’s the only booty call I have ever had (despite evidence to the contrary, I am not a floozy), and he has been my BC for several years.  And I love him for it. And for the things he does to me. :-)

That said I’m not sure I’m into the casual sex thing anymore–it was fun when I was in college, and certainly convenient, but it seemed appropriate then, and though I love sex it seems a bit immature, and yes, promiscuous, at this stage of my life to have a purely sexual relationship.

We shall see!

Goodnight!

xx Charlee

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